On Fear and Self Portraits
What I am and what I want:
I can paint and draw. I believe this myself and a few other people say that they believe this too. But I'm not certain of whether it’s true. Only two things are certain:
- There is no self-portrait of me. I am not interested in my own person as a ‘subject of a picture’ - more in other people, especially women, but even more so in other appearances. I am convinced that as a person I'm not particularly interesting. There is nothing that special to see when looking at me. I'm a painter who paints day in day out, from morning till evening - figure pictures and landscapes, more rarely portraits.
- The spoken as well as the written word doesn't come easily to me, especially not when I'm supposed to relate something about myself or my work. Even when I have to write a simple letter I'm scared stiff as if faced with looming seasickness. For this reason one will have to do without an artistic or literary self-portrait of me. This is not really to be regretted. Whoever wants to know something about me - as an artist which alone is significant - they should look attentively at my pictures and there seek to recognise what I am and what I want.